STORY TIME this is something I wrote a while ago and just found...

        The night air coated my skin, swallowing me whole and spitting me out, saliva covered and stinking.  I could feel the sweat beads rolling down my back, down that spinal indent where fabric and flesh don't meet, a haven for salty sweatbeads to form free of material absorption.  The night sky shone like an oil spill, and beneath the burning stars I felt electric ...with the energy of youth? of love? Fuck if I know, it's the loneliest feeling in the world.

     Visor in hand I pulled at the oversized polo that had been forced upon me by upper management.  It more than covered my khaki-clad ass, ending closer to my knees than my panty-line.  Crossing the parking lot, heading toward the glowing storefront, I felt like a mosquito caught in the neon blue bug zapper.  The sign in front made a low buzzng noise.

       "Hey, how are you?"

      "I'm good, how are you?"

       "Good."

       "That's good."

     I walk over to the make line and stand there for a minute staring at the screen. Blank.  No pizzas to make.  I look around at my co workers.  We look like a faded out gang of cholos in our giant floury polo shirts. 

       "Hey," she said without looking up from the tub of pepperonis, "everything's sticking  together cause Francine never fixed the freezer. She said she would last week and it's still not cold."

    "That sucks, Francine's a bitch."

     This was one of the more normal conversations Crystal and I had had.  She usually talks about things like stabbing people with weenie roasters, medication, and images of depressed brains.  I think her mind must have regressed with her hair color, growing darker every year.

out of time, to be continued...

hey all, its almost finals week (two more days til the FUN BEGINS) and i feel like recapping the semester.   I wonder if I have really been as unproductive as I  believe in these past 15 weeks.  So, memorable events of the last semester....

-Made feeble attempts at finding a job after being dismissed from my previous place of employment where everyone loved me except for the one douche bag in charge.  Power hungry passive agressive DICK. oh well, I'm not bitter.

-Went to apartment of three boys I barely know with mutual girlfriends, drank a 2 liter bottle of MD 20/20 which is aparently some noxious combination of wine and and i dont even know what,  threw up all over; on all THREE of their beds not to mention my arm my dress and my friend Colleen.  Nice.  Same night I lost my cellular phone (which i still havent found) and a sizeable portion of my dignity.  How do you throw up on three beds in one night?? Impressive but definitely NOT productive.

- Black light party at Erin's for her 22nd birthday, also Valentine's Day, also begining of shit storm.  Lets take a minute to preface this little blurb.  About a week before said party I severed attachments with my long-time long distance unofficial boyfriend Tooley because the seperation was getting to me.  We decided to remain friends, and days later he ends up in jail serving a 45 day sentence for a stupid crime we're not going to get into right now. So anyway now im completely alone, abandoned, and vulnerable on Vday. Well a former aquaintance of mine, who well call JOhn, was in a similar situation with his recently ex g/f and was also at blacklight party.  So as you can imagine, add some alcohol to this terrible situation and drunken make out session ensues.  We start hanging out, I guess the term is dating, for a couple weeks.  His ex girlfriend sent me angry facebook messages and Tooley was also not happy.  Finally I realize, for certain, that John and I are not a good combo but continued with sharade (sp?) because I agreed to go to a formal ball with him and did not want to leave him stranded.  Anyway Tooley got out of jail and visited me.  I realized that Im still all about his crazy ass, and broke the news to John who was surprisingly upset considering the short duration of relationship. He then proceeded to write angry messages directed to me in his AIM buddy info.  SO moral of this story, I caused a lot of stupid drama and ended up right where I started.  This is the exact opposite of being productive.

-Did NOT find subletters for the summer so I will be paying rent for a house im not evening living in. NOPE

-Did NOT sign up for summer school. UH UH

-Was deemed NOT qualified to wash dishes at the hospital where I applied. DEFINITELY NOT

On the bright side the whole valentines and beyond situation did make me realize how much I care about Tooley who is now my official boyfriend. Thats kind of productive maybe